along the self healing path there is a step that you cannot skip around or leap over. well, you can, but just like chutes and ladders, eventually you will slide back down to this step to make sure you really do it.
why is healing the "inner child" important? and what the heck is an "inner child?" between the ages of 3-7 your brain is in a theta state, more commonly called the "sponge" state. this is when your brain takes EVERYTHING that happens to you as truth. everything you hear and see becomes part of your internal belief system.
there are many wonderful truths you learn during this time, like the beauty of a flower or the healing power of laughter and a smile from a loved one. you also learn the dangers of crossing a road and how important it is to buckle up in a car.
unfortunately, all of us are born to humans, and humans have many flaws. depending on your childhood, you will have some inner healing to do with your inner child, or a whole crap load to do. the nice part is, is that all of the greatest people on the planet had a lot of diversity and challenges in their life as children, this made them stronger and braver and more independent. they also had to heal that inner little scared kid.
how do we heal it? first we recognize it is there and acknowledge him/her.
we then start looking at negative and false beliefs that are harming us as adults. you can find these easily by remembering most things you heard as a kid, they are most likely things you repeat to yourself or to your own children.
here are some of mine from growing up as an example (note* I'm only stating negative ones, as I like to keep all the postive ones!)
*life is hard
*if life is easy you are doing something wrong or you are naive
*money is bad (the root of all evil)
*anyone not a member of my church is bad
* women are mean and men are dumb
* life sucks and then you die
* money doesn't grow on trees
* if you don't look good, nobody will love you (from saying "you look like nobody loves you)
*blondes are dumb and inferior
*democrats are bad
*minorities deserve more love and affection than me
* I can't ever complain because I 'Have it so good compared to those less than'
*people without college degrees are inferior
*having nice clothes is bad
* wanting nice things is a sin
*men are more important
*my needs aren't important
*I am a bad person
*only by doing good things can I make up for being a bad person
phew! are you exhausted like me? Those are just a few of ones I picked up. Now, there is NO BLAME here. people just repeat their own beliefs, and kids take everything as truth. most of these were just family jokes and idle conversation, but your brain does what it does you know? well, now you know.
I spent a lot of my time entertaining and always making people happy because I felt that was the only way to 1. not get in trouble and 2. make up for being bad. I was act icing based on negative beliefs. I always apologized if I was anything less than perfect and even apologized for being sad or angry. Now I don't apologize for my feelings, only my behaviors if they are inappropriate. I know that I am a good and wonderful person and I don't have to "make up" for anything. I know that there are wonderful people who are also, not of my faith, democrat, and have really nice things. they can even be blond! (hehe, that was such a strong one growing up. so weird right?)
what are some of yours from growing up?
write them down. investigate them. then help your ego see how they are NOT TRUE.
another step to healing your inner child is listening to them. when you pout? that's your...can you guess?..inner child. procrastinate? inner child. self-sabotage? inner-child. most fears? inner child. your unhealed parts of yourself are just begging to be seen and taken care of. as you ackowledge the inner child that is scared and afraid and take care of her, she will start to relax and let you do the choosing and talking. your fears will lessen, more peace will enter your life, and you will start responding to life instead of knee-jerk reacting from fear.
some of my favorite books that have
helped me meet and heal my inner Annie (she's really cute by the way, curly hair and all!)
-You Can Heal Your Life- by Louise Hay
-Loving What Is- by Byron Katie
-The Artist's Way- by Julie Cameron
you can heal your inner child too! a great website to read and follow on social media is The Holistic Psychologist. she has excellent resources for this work!