I am not, by nature, a patient person. I was the kind of person that can't even wait for you to finish your sentence before interrupting. That was my flavor of patience. I wasn't able to be patient with my kids. With my family. With the phone. With traffic.
Irrritation and anger were either bubbling at the surface 24/7 or even worse, erupting. this was how things went. for years.
I'm kind of laughing at the title of the post, because who am I to teach about being patient? but, I can tell you that I am a more patient person. not perfect. not zen patience. but... a wee more patient.
because I have space in my life now. I've surrounded my issues and problems and irritations with a nice bubble of loving and quiet space. very, very, very few things are an actual emergency if you really step back and look at them. seriously, think about the things irritating you right now. how many are emergencies? life and death situations? how many are just annoyances that you could, possibly, maybe, someday, suck in your pride and let go?
my guess is a lot.
right now my business is failing. yup. closing the doors. kaput. the end.
right now I have plenty of irritated, confused and upset clients on my hands. and...I get it. I'm confused, irritated and upset also. I can be patient with their upset. I can be patient with their temper tantrums. I can be patient with it all (although still allowing a few temper tantrums of my own).
why/how can I be patient?
because I know who I am. and because of that I can have empathy and compassion. I see where they are coming from. I also realize they are seeing the situation through a straw and have no idea what's going on. I also realize that I can in no way know what's going on in THEIR life.
I know that when someone reacts instantaneously and IMMEDIATELY, they are coming from their ego. without a doubt, that's an ego reaction. that's not actually who they are (hallelujah!).
I like to think of EGO (false self/natural man whatever you call it) as EDGING GOD OUT, (from Wayne Dyer a spiritual author).
your ego defends. it validates. it proves everyone else wrong. your ego loves excuses. It loves drama. it loves pain. it will gather up all of these things to prove to you how you are right and the world is wrong and don't trust anyone and hide away in your bedroom.
the most freeing thing I learned over this past year is that I am not my EGO and my EGO is not me. this is fantastic news! especially because I firmly believe my ego is Patrick Swayze via dirty dancing era. he's so suave. and coordinated. and convincing! he's always looking out for me and protecting me and dang, he's SUPER HOT and a good dancer to boot. but he's also Godless. he has no hope. he has no vision. he thinks everything has to be taken at face value. he judges. he condemns. he is miserable. he is a shell. a mask. a false identity.
when I tap into my true self. my child of god self, my infinite being self, I can have patience. I can have charity. I can have understanding. I can breathe. nothing is worth losing friendship over. nothing is worth just giving up. I can get to that place through love. that's who we all are at our core, is just pure love. love is patient. love is kind. remember that saying?
I can now listen to people be mad without reacting. I can now let the phone ring without picking up. they'll be ok. I'll be ok. (growing up I would literally sprint through the house to pick up any ringing phone. even up and down flights of stairs, huffing and puffing. I just could not stand to not answer for anyone). now? if I'm not in the mood or doing something else? leave a message babe. I might get back to you.
so people are mad at me. that's ok. they'll be ok. I'll be ok. I know my motivations behind my actions and I know where I'm coming from. I'm coming from love. I've been hurt. I've been betrayed. I've been manipulated. and I AM going to be OKAY because I know who I am. that knowledge, that Is everything.
when you truly know who you are. you have love. you have patience. you have space around your problems. you have clarity. you have LOVE.
so it's ok if they don't understand. it's ok if their pants are all in a tight wad up their crack. I don't have to explain everything to them and calm them down. they'll be ok. I'll be ok. they will be ok. I will be ok!
because I know who I am. I know who I am. I know who I am. where is Stuart smiley when we need him right? the ultimate truth speaker:
I AM GOOD ENOUGH. I AM SMART ENOUGH. AND GOSH DARN IT, PEOPLE LIKE ME.
that my friends, knowing that truth right there will give you a dump truck load of patience. and God can instantly refill it for you whenever you ask. you are a child of God. you have infinite worth and potential. you can handle any curve ball thrown your way. because...
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
YOU ARE WORTHY ENOUGH.
YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH.
AND GOSH DARN IT, THE WORLD IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. see? can you feel how much patience that just gave you? it's pretty awesome right?
you can do anything (and put up with anything) when you truly know who you are. it will give you so much freeing and lovely space around...well...everything.