Stop delaying your soul work
This comes from the heart, and I’m about to drop it fast before my mind catches up and tells me this is a horrible idea…
Listen, when you start committing to feeling peace, and live by revelation, you are going to feel isolated. You are going to have to dig down deep and do the work.
What do people mean when they say “do the work?”, it means investigating why what bothers you bothers you, why you choose to do what you do, why you don’t take care of yourself, why you can’t achieve your goals, why you self-sabotage, why you doubt yourself, why you feel empty. It makes you dig down and see where your beliefs about yourself started, how messed up they are, and how to release them.
When you start doing ‘the work’, it gets scary. You start realizing what has been happening around you is because of what you believe and what you allow. You also start to realize none of it is really real unless you make it real. And you can't believe what you've believed to be real...that's a tangent. Sorry, I digress.
You might get really angry in the beginning when you start opening your eyes, TOTALLY NORMAL. You will most definitely need space from everyone and everything for awhile. You can’t create a future from your past beliefs. You have to become a dreamer, a creator. You have to want peace, crave peace.
You have to stand solidly in the faith that you are responsible for your inner peace, and nothing else. You can't hurt anyone else and they can't hurt you. But that also means you can't save anyone and they can't save you. Enlightenment is a personal journey and no one can help you except you and your bff relationship with God.
This is not the world's way of thinking or doing or acting.
People will call you crazy. People will say you are selfish. People will say you are acting like a bad daughter/son/sibling whatever. People will be confused. You’ll be confused.
Keep doing the work anyway.
But listen up y’all, you’ll start to feel better. The anger will be gone. You’ll be meeting people and places based on where their energy is, without judgement. You’ll remove yourself from said places/people with love. You’ll be patient and loving for wherever people are.
And then…something will call to you to ignore your feelings and betray yourself again because it promises a feeling a relief.. A hint of a “normalcy” feeling again, so you give in and follow it. You think you can be around that place or those people more and be bulletproof.
Maybe you can! But check yourself before you wreck yourself. How much time can you be somewhere or around people before your old habits and ways of thinking/acting come back? Really ask yourself: “Why do I want a relationship with these people?” “If they weren’t related to me, would I spend time with them?” “How do I feel after spending time with them?”
If it’s draining, exhausting, emotional and sketchy, probs still time to take a break from it/them/yourself for a little longer.
This is not a destination, it is a process. Baby steps every day. Listen to your body. Connect to your body. It is showing you the way.
Give yourself grace, give yourself mercy, give yourself…space. I love you. I’m here for you.